


Tom Riddle but like it's Regina George's speech

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: i dont want to inflict this on more people than necessary, thats it thats all the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 04:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21030560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: tom riddle is regina george everyone shut the fuck up





	Tom Riddle but like it's Regina George's speech

TOM: He's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Abraxas Malfoy. We were best friends in first year. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in fifth year, I opened the Chamber of Secrets, and the Baslisk, who was totally under my control because I'm Slytherin's Heir, but then the Chamber had to be closed again. And Abraxas was, like, weirdly jealous of the Basilisk, and thought it was my boyfriend or whatever. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with the Basilisk, he'd be like, "Why didn't you patronus me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all purebloods christmas party, I was like, "Abraxas, I can't invite you, because I think you're a mudblood." I mean, I couldn't have a mudblood at my party. There are gonna be purebloods there in their death eater masks. I mean, right? He looked like a mudblood. So then his mom called my orphanage and started yelling at her. It was so retarded. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him. When he came back in the fall for NEWT preps, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he's on crack.

**Author's Note:**

> yes toms birthday is celebrated as a christmas party this is the kind of pain he has to endure


End file.
